How to help a child build a positive image

In PCDC’s last newsletter, I wished you “Happy New Year”. Permit me to wish you a Happy New Year again. I believe the year has been beautiful so far.

Yesterday, I watched a comedy video that depicted the way African parents pray for their children. You needed to see how the parent was pressing the palm over the face of the child that was peacefully sleeping. For me, the part of the video that inspired me were the words being spoken over the child. Words like “you are a winner” “you are destined for greatness” “you are not a failure” and so on were spoken over the child prayerfully.

 In Psychology, there is a technique called heterosuggestion and autosuggestion. The former is a technique in which someone makes another person believe and become conscious of the words spoken to him or her (like influence someone’s perception). For example, a mother telling her son “you are great! You are powerful! You are intelligent!” and then the child builds a consciousness around this words such that whenever he is faced with challenges, those words becomes his identity, although, these words are being used negatively by wicked people as a form of hypnotizing their victims. Autosuggestion is the hypnotic or subconscious adoption of an idea which one has originated oneself. It is a psychological technique related to the placebo effect that is, a form of self-induced suggestion in which individuals guide their own thoughts, feelings, or behavior.

Why heterosuggestion and autosuggestion? I explained the two techniques above because these are two effective way of helping a child build a positive self image. Enough of seeing kids out there who are timid. Yes, I understand that the child is an introvert but being an introvert does not mean you should be timid. They are two different things.

As parents, teachers, older siblings or whoever we are to the children around us, it is important that we take building a positive self-image for children a priority. I am pained when I see parents sometimes insulting their child outside for being timid. Like, how do you expect the child to be bold if you keep suggesting negative words to him/her? Children build their image around words spoken over them. Even the name calling done by teachers sometimes is so bad because the child is made to believe that that is who he/she is.

If you really want your child to have a positive self-image, speak positive words over them until it lives in their subconscious. When this happens, it becomes a self-induced pattern of thought, feeling and behavior for them. A child who lost a goal for his football team chooses not to feel like a failure but is determined to show that he is the winner his/her mother has been calling him/her.

Permit me to say it this way, if your child or your student or your sibling has a negative self-image, the fault is from you. Rather than insulting or beating the child more for behaving in a not too good way, speak positive words to negate that thought or feeling.

Please, let your positive heterosuggestion become autosuggestion for that child. Hypnotize them with positive words, so to say.

PS; Have you read “CHILDREN; what to expect and what they expect ye?” download the book